How to Ask Your Church for Support When Facing Chronic Illness
Finding grace, community, and practical help in the body of Christ.
Living with a chronic illness is hard. Every person and every illness is unique, but they often carry many of the same challenges. From dietary restrictions to constant fatigue, medical appointments, and daily adjustments—it all adds up to a weight that can be too heavy to carry alone.
And underneath it all often sits a quiet ache of a question,
"How do I ask for help?"
Like many women navigating chronic illness, maybe you have wondered:
Does anyone understand what I'm going through?
Would I be a burden if I asked for help?
Does my church even care?
The truth is, you are not alone, and you are deeply loved.
Yes, the church cares, and Jesus cares. Because God cares. And your local Christian therapist cares. And there is a place and a purpose for you in the body of Christ- even in the middle of this season.
In today's post, I hope to encourage you, let you know you are not alone, and support churches in learning how to love on those in our church communities.
This blog post came first from a conversation I had with Janet McKinney on my YouTube channel and podcast series on living and loving like Jesus, so if you would rather listen or watch than read, you can find that here.
Why Chronic Illness Often Leads to Isolation
Every challenge we face is more than meets the eye. As Ephesians tells us,
"our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world's darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12)
And when illness hits, there is often a mental health and spiritual component to it. One of the most powerful tactics Satan uses against those walking through difficult seasons is isolation. When we're struggling, there's a voice that whispers we're the only ones facing this challenge. It tells us that no one else understands, that we're a burden, that our needs are too much.
This is exactly how the enemy works—by making us believe we're isolated and forgotten.
But Scripture reminds us repeatedly that God sees every aspect of our lives. "I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20). He knows our troubles and our triumphs. He is intimately aware of every detail, from the blinking of our eyes to the intricate workings of our bodies. (See Psalm 139) If God thought through every detail of creation with such precision, how much more does He care about us, His beloved children?
A Lot! As Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Of course, you are more valuable than a bird or a flower. Of course, God cares!
God Designed Us for Connection
But sometimes when we try to face it all alone, we can forget, or easily get lost in the weeds and become discouraged. God gave us a church family to be there for us and remind us that He cares.
Even Jesus didn't do it all alone - Father- Son - Spirit. And He taught the disciples that they needed each other, too. He called twelve disciples, and three were particularly close to Him. Jesus understood (and created) the importance of community, of having people who walk alongside us through both the mountaintop experiences and the valleys.
The church isn't just a place to attend - it's a family.
Connection within a church body is vital. Small groups, Sunday school classes, and intimate gatherings create safe spaces where we can be open about our struggles. More than just a place to learn about God or the Bible, these are communities that become like family- who support, encourage, and love one another when it's needed most.
The statistics tell us that fifty percent of adults in North Carolina live with chronic illness. This means that in any given congregation, half the people sitting in the pews are managing ongoing health challenges. You are far from alone.
Breaking the Silence: How Do I Ask For Help?
The question many face is simple yet profound: How do I ask for help?
The answer begins with vulnerability; we must be willing to share what we're going through, even if it feels uncomfortable. This doesn't mean sharing every detail of our medical history or story with the entire congregation. It means taking small steps—sharing a little information with a trusted person, perhaps a pastor, a women's ministry leader, or a Sunday school teacher.
I like to tell my clients that trust is a lot like building with Legos. You don't share by handing someone the entire basket all at once. You give one block, then another, and slowly you build a foundation of trust over time. never share more than what you're comfortable with. Allow relationships to deepen naturally and build as you go.
Who Should I ask In My Church?
If you're new to a church or small group or unsure who to approach, just start somewhere. Anywhere! Ask the person sitting near you, or call the church office. Speak with someone greeting at the door after a service. If the first person you talk to isn't the "right" person, it's likely that they can point you in the right direction. Don't give up if the first attempt doesn't lead where you expected, try, try again.
Some options for where to start are:
The pastor
Call the Church office during the week
Your small Group/ Sunday School teacher
Your Women's Minister
A Campus Pastor
What Can I Ask For?
If you are the one in need, pause and think, what would be helpful? If you are the one trying to show love, simply asking "What would be helpful?" can be really powerful.
But, so often I hear from people, "I don't know what to ask for!" or when we ask, what can we do to help? They say, "I don't know." So we thought it might be helpful to give you some ideas of things that may be helpful for you or a loved one overcoming or walking through chronic illness.
Food Considerations:
Church gatherings often center around meals, which can be challenging for those with dietary restrictions. Simple solutions make a tremendous difference—
label dishes with names or ingredients
keeping foods separate rather than mixed in casseroles
Having a pitcher of unsweetened tea alongside the sweet.
Note allergens in dishes
Limit or have non-ultra-processed food options
Have at least one kid-friendly option in line
remember people's allergies or sensitivities
offering gluten-free communion bread
Bible Studies and Support Groups:
Another way we can support is by offering Bible studies specific to chronic illnesses - Diabetes, PCOS, Chrones, Kidney disease, adrenal fatigue, etc.
Creating community among those facing similar challenges. These groups provide more than information- they may not have any medical information at all! But they give connection with others who truly understand the daily struggles of this illness.
Checking In:
Don't forget about each other. It's easy to feel alone when you share, and then it seems like people forget or don't care. When someone shares a struggle in Sunday school or a small group, take the time to follow up a few weeks later with a simple "How are you doing?" It can mean so much to someone who is hurting. A text message, a phone call, or a handwritten note shows that people remember and you care.
Practical Help:
Sometimes people need other very practical things, and this will be specific to each situation. So we made a list that may be helpful, but this list certainly isn't exhaustive.
Offering rides to medical appointments, especially those hours away from home, provides both practical support and companionship during anxious times.
Medical equipment - shared or purchased
Coordinating meal trains with dietary needs in mind,
Sit down and review medical information with someone
Help them meal plan
Finances: do they need gas money, food, or bills paid from appointments?
teach them how to ... (cook a chicken, make a smoothie, can bone broth, make bread)
Simply being present shows Christ's love.
What if Asking Feels Hard?
Facing life challenges of any kind is hard. And Chronic illness is no different. In the midst of it, we need grace. Both those asking for help and those providing it need to extend grace. We're all human. We forget things. We get overwhelmed. We don't always respond perfectly in the moment.
If someone seems short or dismissive when you ask for help, consider that they may be carrying their own heavy load in that moment. Their response likely isn't about you at all. Give grace, wait for a better time, and try again.
For those providing support, recognize that you won't get everything right. You might forget the unsweetened tea or accidentally include an ingredient someone can't have. Apologize, learn, and keep trying. The effort matters more than perfection.
Your Story Matters - The Power Of Testimony
Sometimes it's not what you expect to give; sometimes sharing your story means more than the finances or the "practical" things. Too many people think they have nothing valuable to share with others. But Scripture tells us we overcome "by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony" (Revelation 12:11). If you've been walking with Christ for ten minutes or ten years, you have a testimony. If you're breathing, you have something to share.
God allows us to walk through difficult seasons not just for our own growth but so we can help others who are a few steps behind us on the same journey. Your experience with managing a chronic illness, learning to navigate dietary restrictions, or finding peace amid medical uncertainty could be exactly what someone else desperately needs to hear. So don't be afraid to share or reach out; it may be the answer to someone's prayer.
The Battle Belongs To The Lord
Yet this, like every battle, isn't a battle you face alone. Whatever fight you're facing today—whether it's a recent diagnosis, ongoing pain, family members far from God, or simply the daily grind of managing an illness—remember this: the battle belongs to the Lord.
Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). We will face difficulties in this life. That's a promise. But we don't face them alone. God goes before us, walks beside us, and fights for us.
His goal isn't necessarily to give us an easy life. His goal is to sanctify us, to make us more like Christ, to refine us into the people He created us to be. The struggles we face have purpose in His hands. (See James 1:2-4).
You Are Not Alone - You Are Loved
And finally, don't miss this: If you're walking through a chronic illness today, know this: God cares. His people care. You are not a burden. Your needs matter. The church body wants to help, but they need to know what you need.
Don't let the enemy convince you that you're alone or forgotten. Reach out. Share your story. Ask for help. Join a small group. Build connections.
And if you're part of a church community, look around. Who might be struggling silently? Who needs a phone call, a note, a simple "I'm thinking of you"? Who needs to know they're not forgotten?
We overcome together, by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony, walking in community, extending grace, and trusting that God provides all we need according to His riches in glory.
You are loved. You are seen. You are never, ever alone.
Be Blessed,
Chandler Baggett Whitford (And Janet McKinney of Elm Grove Church)
Need Additional Support?
If you're walking through chronic illness and finding that you need support beyond what your community can provide, you don't have to carry it alone.
I offer faith-integrated counseling for women across North Carolina through secure telehealth sessions—creating a space where your physical, emotional, and spiritual struggles are all cared for.
You can learn more at www.cbwcounseling.com or text 252-210-4508
Watch or Listen to the Full Conversation
This post was adapted from a conversation on my Living and Loving Like Jesus podcast.
Other Scriptures for further study:
John 3:16 • Ephesians 3:20 • Hebrews 13:5 • Revelation 12:11 • John 16:33 • Proverbs 17:17 • James 5:16 • Philippians 4:6 • 1 Thessalonians 5:11 • Deuteronomy 31:6 • Matthew 28:20 • Romans 8:38–39 • Ephesians 6:12 • 1 Peter 5:8 • James 4:7 • Romans 8:28 • James 1:2–4 • 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 • Philippians 4:19 • Matthew 6:25–34
